lol fucking curse

This is the third year in a row that I have lost my phone during the summer holidays. so happens this time i dropped it into the sea. unintentionally and accidentally of course. duh. hence why i believe ive been cursed by the raging forever losing your telephonic handset beast or some shit like that. but yeah hi, my mum is literally going to send me to a nunnery when she finds out.

Holidays have been sah gewd, relaxation is the key to my ideal holiday. and thats pretty much what ive been doing. though im pretty gutted that theres no hipster wannabes i can laugh at here…

Anyways im surprised my eyes havnt disintegrated into the back of my eye socket by now as i itch my eyes 24/7 here. like srsly. is it dust? or maybe a mosquito bit my eyeball. yummy.

So like, i have random breakdowns during the day or night whenever i think of my phone. its a sad situation, we bonded and became great companions. lol shut up no we didnt

I HATE DOLOLARIS OR WHATEVER HER NAME IS. (stupid maid, sorry not being ungrateful but shes shit at her job). So like one day, im like

hi, wheres my shorts?

eh yew see oper dere in dat copboard

no its not there i put it in the laundry basket last night, it should be washed and dried now

well i donno i hapnt seen it, tri yew luk carepully

no its reallly not there

nevermind den why don yew jas wear dose short oper dere?

oh yeah im totally gonna wear those reebok spandex shorts that will give me a very visible camel toe that are literally luminous to a restaurant.

lol im gonna go now bye